It is my turn to blog again so of course there has been almost a two month long gap in postings. It's not that I don't want to write about everything we're doing, it's just that we've done SO much is a small amount of time. My wonderful wife has the luxury of having her mornings free, so when it's her turn to do this, she cranks them out no problem. A lot has happened since the last time we posted, so much in fact that we are completely done with the home study process. Let me start from the beginning.
First off, we completed our 6 week parenting classes on Monday May 11th. At the end of everything, our class size had shrunk considerably from the original 21 to 13 people. We celebrated the end of our training with a ceremonious pot luck. Not only did we learn immeasurable amounts of information on how to handle the toughest of situations, but we also built connections with other couples in the class. This is such an asset to us, because when we are faced with the challenges that I'm sure are ahead of us, we have people to turn to who are going through very similar situations. With the end of the class came our certificates of completion. These certificates were vital as they were the last documents needed for our state application.
On May 13th, just two days after the end of our classes, we had our first home study meeting with our county social worker. We were surprisingly not stressed out about this, which strangely stressed me out a little. Every time I have ever heard anything about "the dreaded home study" people have made it sound about as enjoyable as a root canal. I don't know if it's because we built such a good rapport with our social worker while in the classes, or just that we are fully confident that we are prepared for this, but Jessie and I walked into our first meeting with comfort. We were not wrong to do so. The first meeting was held at the children and family services office, and could not have gone better. We met with our worker at 2:00 pm and for over three hours talked about our childhood, our family support system, our relationship, and our willingness to be parents. All of the assumptions that our worker likes us were confirmed. She said things like "I can't wait to make you two one of my success stories" and "there is no reason why you two wouldn't be approved." It's one thing to know within yourself that you want to be a parent and provide a loving home to children, but it is quite another when a trained professional wholeheartedly agrees with you. We walked out of our meeting as a group, and even hugged our social worker goodbye. This makes us so happy, because we will be working with this person through the time that our adoption becomes finalized, and we could not have picked a nicer woman.
The next phase of our journey was the actual visit to our house. Our worker came over on Friday June 5th at 4:15 pm. Again, things went great. She walked through our house, and found no problems at all (which I'm sure is no surprise to anyone who read our "preparing the house" entry). Since she had already gotten most of the information she needed from us in our May 13th meeting, she didn't stay long at all and left by a quarter to 5. We proved to ourselves that the right prep work makes the inspection process a breeze. She was impressed that everything was done already, and I do mean everything, from installing safely locks to baby gates at the tops and bottom of our stairs. Upon leaving she told us that as far as the county was concerned, our home study process was over.
With the green light from the county, Jessie came to the decision that, after only a year, she wanted to trade in her Mazda Miata. This was a very hard decision for her since she loved that car almost as much as me. (I'm kidding, I think). She started talking about this soon after the county inspection was over, and on Sunday June 7th, we said our final goodbyes to our red convertible two-seater, and traded it in for the less maneuverable but more family practical Mazda Tribute SUV. I was surprised at how sad I was to see the little car go. Maybe it was our last connection to the idea of being just a twosome, or maybe it's just that I secretly enjoyed looking cool as we cruised down PCH with the top down. Whatever the reason, the freedoms that went along with having the Miata will be missed, even if they are being traded in for bigger and better adventures.
The last leg of our home study came at 8:30 in the morning on June 13th. The state rep arrived, as scheduled for his final meeting and inspection. Let me tell you right now, making me just like all the others that try to warn you, THIS is the part of the home study everyone talks about. When our county social worker came to inspect our house, she showed up with a clipboard and a smile. When our state rep showed up, he came fully loaded with a rolling travel bag equipped with a laptop, our entire file, and several forms to be reviewed, signed and posted. He was a nice guy, don't get me wrong, but he came with a specific job to do and he wasn't much for chit chat. This inspection, the "regulatory side" as the state calls it, inspects everything from the amount of food in the fridge, to the amount of closet space. He had a way of saying things like "mmm hmm" as he walked through the house that made Jessie and I glance at each other to try and figure out if something was wrong with what he was looking at. Later he would say something to indicate that he was happy with what he saw... but we still weren't convinced. Everything was going smoothly and he found nothing to dock us for until he checked our water temperature. When he did, he found that it was just over regulation and told us that he would have to schedule a follow up visit. We were crushed. We had worked so hard to get through everything, and we know that the longer this part of the process takes, the longer it will be before we're placed with our children. Jessie, being the quick-thinking handywoman that she is, took him to the water heater and turned the temp. down to well below the maximum allowed. Once she did this, he was convinced that he would not have to come back after all and we were in the clear again. As the meeting was winding down, he went through our home study work up with us, and said that we were all cleared to be licensed for children over the age of two. Again our emotions took a nose dive. We have every intention of adopting two little boys and our ideal ages are infant/toddler and preschooler/early elementary. When we asked him why he wasn't licensing us to adopt infants, he informed us that since we did not have a crib in the house, he couldn't grant us a license for a child that would need to sleep in one. This frustrated us a little since we were told that as long as we had room for a crib, we would not need to purchase one until it was confirmed that we were being placed with a baby. We showed him a print out we had from BabiesRus of a crib we had previously picked out, but he said that wouldn't do, and that we had to have it on the premises. We thought quickly again and asked him if we could buy it after he left and send him pictures of it set up in the kid's room. he agreed that this was a good idea, and said that he would wait to issue our license until he received the e-mailed pictures on Monday morning. With that taken care of, he was satisfied with the interview, and left just before 11:00 am.
Jessie and I spent the better part of last Saturday searching for and putting together a crib. We took a small break to go to a friends housewarming party, but other than that, the day was all about babies. This was our first real opportunity to fall completely in love with the new SUV we bought, since buying a crib and mattress was no sweat with the huge amount of trunk space we now own. We were able to walk into a store, buy a large piece of furniture, and toss it in the back like a sack of groceries. I'm hooked, and will probably never own a sedan again. Even Jessie admits that she loves the new car. I'm happy we're both so happy with it.
Here is the crib that we purchased:
Our county social worker called us about a week ago to let us know that our first opportunity to be exposed to the children available will be on June 28th. There is a presentation being hosted by a wonderful organization called The Heart Gallery, you can visit their website at http://www.shareyourheartla.org/ and they specialize in sibling groups and older children. They are a huge supporter of LGBT families and the HRC even awarded them with this recognition this year. We'll be going to a wine tasting and there will be a presentation about the kids currently available. Jessie and I are very excited because it is our first real glimpse into our new world. With that, I am ready to sign off. It is Jessie and my one year legal marriage anniversary, thanks to the brief moment last year when LGBT couples were afforded the same rights as the rest of Californians to marry. We are celebrating with a quiet dinner out and some quality time together. We realize that quiet evenings with just the two of us are coming to an end, so we want to celebrate one last anniversary with calm togetherness. Thanks for reading. :)
